My Marvelous Misadventures - Lethal Lexi's Blog

So, life happens as they say. I've been consumed with it and been sorting through it as it comes to me.

I like to try to roll with the punches and sometimes things fall to the wayside or are no longer in the cards for me.

Right now it seems modeling is one of those things. As much as I love it and enjoy doing it, it seems that doing it actively is no longer meant for me. If this is really true, only the next few months will really show it or prove me a liar.

I would love to work again, but we select people. Right now I'm actually considering returning behind the camera (funny right?) if anything cause of Zik. I want to photograph other big women in a style and way that shows them just as sexy as someone a size 0.

Wishful thinking maybe, but I do plan to return to school for photography regardless of what artistic endeavors I make. Because its something I've always enjoyed and would like to finish actually working on a degree in it. My issue is figuring out what style to work within. x.x

Life is funny that way. So am I quiting modeling? No. I'd work for Zik, Carrie, Gwen or a few others if asked at a moments notice. But I can't really do my own website while going to school and working a day job. Unless i want to forsake hobbies and friends.. which are healthy.

Its just a matter of finding a webmaster who would want to take over my site for me. Or just sitting on my content till I can do it again. No worries really on that. Life happens to us all.

Somethings you can't let go, they seep to points inside of you that you didn't know. Pieces of me miss you despite my attempts to cut them away, I hack and hack till I'm full of holes, but still find thoughts of you clinging to me, deep in spaces that only memories of you exist and the happiness you gave me. I was to eager to cut you out and banish you.. I'm grateful for what you gave me in the time I shared with you..

When we parted ways I could only see the pain and the respite of what was happening. Looking back I regret things being said, the way they went and how we hurt each other lashing out. I know it will never be, some piece in me wishes we could still be.. still see and speak, share the joy we managed to bring again. But whatever may be, it won't stop me from smiling when i think of the better moments when we graced each others life..

Etched in to my mind is an understatement.. impacted my life is a better way. You opened my mind and provoked thoughts I hadn't dared to think.. because of you I better understand and know what i want. And I can only thank you.. even though you may never know.

I started this post about an hour ago.. and then this happens : crazy convo from NO WHERE..

I'm asked for advice from a woman who's daughter is looking to model - I figure the normal tips are needed. Checking references, TFP and what have you.. But yeah, misunderstanding on MY part..

It went from that to the daughter looking to model and getting TFCs with the goal to do Glam/Maxim style shoots. To her having a shoot lined up that was going to be amature/implied and the mother was uncomfortable with the role they asked her HUSBAND to play in the pictures. Which i assumed was "watching" too closely or looking at his daughter in ways he shouldn't..

I go over some things about how if shes uncomfortable she should call it and look for something else. Go over some advice about getting contracts and what not only to move on to some odds and ends. Then to how she was comfortable and her daughter was excited and that I had helped.

THEN it moves on to the daughter doing a sex scene, needing to be on the pill and such (earlier she had only stated the girl doing Glam -wtf )

And now its being implied the girl is going to sleep with her dad and that she may still be a virgin.

I'm confused. Help. This is either the coolest mom in the world or the worst.. I have no idea.

It did a good job to shock me out of the mental spiral I was falling in to, memories of things you thought you can banish tend to be that way I assume.. Not bad ones..good ones about a time that ended kinda badly i suppose.. live and learn eh?

Though i was kinda happy there.

Maybe I'll venture back in the morning light and share it with you all since I've been lacking so seriously in updates..

The summer heat is here and strong in more ways then one. I don't know why but I crave more.. I want more.. and often leave my lover nearly broken by exhaustion while I move on to a toy to find the satisfaction. More then not I burn my self out in to sleep. I can go on for days like this and even sleep doesn't bring me rest. Just dreams of touches and caress's.. Kisses and suckles.. all it does is wake me with a renewed craving.

And in the dreams other lovers show, people I know or am close enough to. Those I find appealing.. Its deranged in its little ways. But I want them all the same. There warmth, there body.. all they can give me and what I can take from them in the passion.

Its enough to drive a woman mad. I doubt I am a true nympho. But times like these.. I wonder if I just might be. Right now I'm squirming with the thoughts I speak of. I need a release and someone to help me.

Yes I am still alive. Just a bit busy with life to sit still and think of something to write about. At least something naughty to give you dreams or let you in on the truth of me. For now.. Enjoy these LOLCats.

Yeah I've joined the masses in this trend. Its a easy way to market your website while doing more - fan made videos to share and seeing what your interested in providing content wise as well. The link is the banner above along with a text link to the left under my website link. I'll be updating this weekend as I've already gotten requests for videos to put up. Want to see me do something? Email me !

Not limping but my leg and back are quite sore. I didn't exspect this to be the case when I fell the way I did. Go figure. The bruise is as long and as wide as my hand, the spot stays quite warm and is fairly firm. The swelling has gone down, no longer quite a goose egg. Fun times. Sharing a picture because I didn't know my skin could turn such colors.

Man :" I say chose a personality and stick with it!"
Woman: " I'm a girl, mood swings come with the territory - don't you know that?!"

Random quote of the day.

Also - falling while still IN a rolling desk chair can hurt more then falling out of it. Managed to make the wheels slide out from under me while leaning over. Fell while still in the chair and the arm of it got me good. Nice swollen spot as large as my hand is currently there, with a blushing blue bruise forming too. Hopefully it will remain at bay for some of tomorrow if not all of it. Took Tylenol and the fucker STILL hurts.

Did a days worth of shooting as well, I may ache from moving and bouncing about in heels but I have a feeling its out weighted by the goose egg on my hip at the moment.

FUN TIMES I tell you!